Toilet Readiness Tips 2

Two Approaches to Education

August 13, 2007

Teaching is the highest form of understanding.

Aristotle

Nancy Ginsburg Gill visited two kindergartens in the same city and described her visits in an article, “Goodbye, Mr. & Ms. Chips,” in Education Week (July 18, 2007)

“I walked into the kindergarten classroom with the school superintendent and the principal. The well-behaved children in their plaid uniforms were discussing butterflies with their teacher. Then, as we left the room ... the teacher rushed after us with a panicked look on her face and apologized: ‘I’m sorry. We had finished our lesson early, and one of the children asked if he could bring his caterpillar to school, which led us to a discussion of how caterpillars turn into butterflies.

“At first, I couldn’t figure out why the teacher was apologizing and why her supervisors looked displeased. And then I understood: This young teacher was worried because she had committed what is considered taboo at this particular private school. She had gone off script. In seizing what she saw as a teachable moment ... the teacher knew she was in danger of receiving a negative evaluation and perhaps losing her job.

“The next week, I visited a very different kind of private school. In this kindergarten class, the teacher was relaxed and energetic. As the admission director took me into the classroom, I saw that many of the children were building structures in the sandbox. The teacher smiled and explained to us that the children had acted out the story of Billy Goats Gruff the day before, and that one child had wondered how bridges are built so they don’t fall down before they are completed. That night, the teacher said, she had phoned one of the fathers, a structural engineer, to invite him to come to the class to explain how bridges are built. He was coming the following day and bringing some models with him; in preparation for his visit, the 5- and 6-year-olds were using their own structures to guess what they would learn.

“As we left the room, the admissions director beamed as he explained, ‘We have a school full of teachers like her — people who constantly think of new ways to get our students excited about the world around them.’ Obviously, bridge building was not part of any scripted curriculum, and it would not appear on any high-stakes test. But when the subject came up, the teacher knew she was free to allow her students to use class time to explore a mystery that interested them, and she had the freedom to invite someone in who could answer her students’ questions....

“The idea of using high-stakes testing to improve schools may stem from a genuine desire to offer all children a high-quality education. But if higher test sco res are achieved by mandating that teachers follow a script and eschew spontaneity and passion, we will find few great teachers left in the classroom. In fact, we might as well save money on salaries and benefits and employ robots to run the drills.”

SEPARATION? ORIENTATION? END OF THE YEAR?

      “School is an exciting experience for a young child, but it can also be a difficult one.  The apprehension that follows is a normal reaction.  It might even happen after a child has separated.  Separation is a process we go through all of our lives.  Though often challenging and exciting, this growth towards independence can be painful and scary, especially for young children.”

     As your child began preschool some years back, I shared with you the above information and other separation issues your child may encounter as he/she became oriented into the preschool environment.  As the school year ends, I want to give you some insight into how separation issues may arise with your 4/5 year old at this time of year. 

     Perhaps you have noticed some changes in behavior in your child recently.  It is not uncommon for young children to feel sad about the school year ending and what’s familiar coming to an end.  Sometimes a child’s behavior may become rebellious or aggressive and your very independent child becomes very dependent.

     “Allow the beginning days to be gentle, casual and non-threatening.”  I said these

words at the orientation too.  Now, apply this to the present.  Be aware of too much conversation about kindergarten.  Avoid comments such as, “They won’t let you do that in kindergarten.”  Comments such as this, only makes kindergarten sound like a frightening place.

     If your child is acting out, he/she probably needs to spend some extra time with you.  When the moment seems right, remind your child he can always come back to visit us here at Banner.  We love extra helpers!  Focus on your family summer plans.  Doing that

wll remind your child that while his school or teachers will be different, his loving family will be the same. 

     This fall our children will be moving into new directions, but not all of the children are moving in the same direction.  Some of our children will remain here.  Others are off to different schools in the community and others will be going to the same school as their friends.  Whatever your child’s plans are for the fall, helping him/her prepare for the next big step can best be accomplished in a casual, gentle and non-threatening manner.  You should enjoy your child and be proud of his/her accomplishments.  Adult attitudes are shaped in childhood.  You can help your child develop a healthy and positive outlook that will prepare him to be ready and confident for anything.

                                                                               Sincerely,

                                                                               Adell Kabins

There are only two lasting bequests we can hope to give our children.  One of these is roots; the other wings.     -----Hodding Carter, Jr.

SEPARATION/TRANSITION

Separation is a multi-step process which must be carried out gradually so that both children and parents feel comfortable once it has occurred.  The time it takes varies from child to child:  some make the adjustment to being away from home very quickly, while others take much longer to relax.  Work schedules and baby-sitting for siblings may have to be adjusted so that a parent or other trusted adult is truly available.  This may be difficult, but time spent now is an investment in the future and sets the tone for later life experiences.

  You, as the parent, are the most significant person in your child’s life.  If children had a choice, they would be happy to keep Mom or Dad at their side, indefinitely. What better people with whom to share the school experience.  So when you make plans to leave, they may be understandably sad, surprised, angry or frightened.  Even children who are accustomed to baby sitters, church school, going to Grandma’s, or staying at the neighbors can experience these reactions.  At the same time, your child trusts you and if you are convinced that school is a good place, he or she will come to share that conviction.

LEAVING THE CLASSROOM

The classroom teachers will work with you to help you know when your child is ready for you to leave.  When leaving, it is important for you to tell your child when you will be back.  A parent may tell their child, “I will pick you up after your class plays outside.”  It is important for the parent to follow through and be on time to pick up their child.  It can be frightening to a young child when their parent or other trusted adult may inadvertently be late at pick up time.

WHAT IF MY CHILD PROTEST MY LEAVING?

-Acknowledge your child’s feeling of anger, sadness, or frustration.  It is normal for some children to experience strong emotions when a parent leaves them at school for the first time.  It can help a child to hear their parent verbally identify the feelings children are demonstrating. (“You’re scared of being here without me.”)

-Emphasize that you will return.  It is sometimes helpful to verbally describe what you will be doing when you are gone.  Children also like knowing what they will be doing at school while you are gone.  Tell your child specifically what s/he will be doing when you will return.

-Let the staff help you and your child separate.

-Tell your child when you are leaving.  If you give your child the opportunity to tell you to stay at school they may not let you leave. “I’m going now, okay?” Avoid “okay.”  At times it may seem easier to leave your child without telling them.  While this tactic may work in the short run, it damages the child’s confidence in the adults and reinforces the notion that school is not a place to be trusted.  Your child may be upset that you are leaving, but they will hear you say, “I will be back.”

-Leave the room promptly once you have said goodbye.  It is hard to leave when your child is crying or when s/he demonstrates anger towards you.  A lingering departure or unexpected reappearance heightens children’s anxiety by making the environment unpredictable. It is very confusing for children when one day you relent and stay all morning and another occasion insist that you must leave immediately.  This sporadic approach appears arbitrary and unfair to young children; it encourages them to test each time to determine whether today you will give in or not.

-Call the school office to check in on your child or the director may call you.

-Handling separation is a normal part of the teachers’ jobs.  This is not the first time a teacher has dealt with these situations.  We have many strategies and techniques for easing separation.  Use us as resources.

-Bring your child to school daily.  It is only through repeated experience that children learn that going to school is a predictable part of the family routines.  Children will often begin their protests at home. In order to avoid a confrontation it may be tempting to allow your child to stay home just one day.  Rather than alleviating the problem, it shows children they are in charge of the situation, not the adult.

     Children thrive on routine.  A consistent approach to separation will help ease the transition into school.  Separation can be accomplished in one day or it may take several weeks.  Children pick up non verbal cues from their parents.  If you feel this is a good place, your child will feel preschool is a good place too.

Good articles below:

   The Sleepless Parent

  Help for things that keep you up at night.

November 1, 2009

Volume 2, Number 19                                                                                         Visit my website

In This Issue

More Vitamin D For Everyone

And Maybe More Citrus-Scented Windex

A Conversation About Autism

Spontaneous Reading Seminar Scheduled

Affordable Coaching

Is There A Children's Book In You?

The Sleepless Parent

 

 

It's beginning to look a lot like winter!

Today is the first day of "Standard Time" and I'm not looking forward to the early dark this afternoon. Here in Seattle, it will get really dark, really early before very long.

 

Winter means more indoor time for most of us and for our kids. Which brings me to two studies that came across my desk this week - one sensible and one, well, worth a try!  Read on...

 

More Vitamin D For Everyone

 

A study published in the November issue of Pediatrics reiterates what we've been told lately: Vitamin D is really important - for bone development, lowering the risk of cancers and heart disease in adults, and boosting children's immune systems overall and reducing the incidence and severity of common childhood illnesses. Vitamin D is a big Deal.

 

But most children get far less than they should. Children do not relish foods like liver and fatty fish that are good sources of this vitamin, and if they get enough sunshine (Vitamin D is called "The Sunshine Vitamin") then they probably are wearing sunscreen when they get it. Sunscreen blocks Vitamin D. Children with darker skins and children living in more northerly lattitudes (like here in Washington state) get less D from the sun than other kids. Vitamin supplements can help, but fewer than half of American children get enough D even in supplements - or don't take vitamin supplements regularly.

 

Children need at least 50 nmol/ml of Vitamin D every day and 20% of U.S. kids miss that standard. A more stringent - and many believe more accurate - standard of 75 nmol/ml is achieved by fewer than one-third of U.S. children.

 

So... check the label on your children's vitamins and see what they're getting (50 nmol is the same as 20 ng/ml and 75 nmol is the same as 30 ng/ml. Some researchers recommend 100 nmol or 40 ng/ml).  Then review the past week or two and recall if they're even getting that much. How often do you skip vitamins or forget to give them to the baby? And are you taking Vitamin D yourself? If not, you probably should start!

 

Source: Children's Hospital Boston (2009, October 27). Vitamin D Levels Are Too Low In Millions Of US Children, Latest Analysis Confirms. 

 

 And Maybe More Citrus-Scented Windex

In another study, this one conducted by Katie Liljenquist from Brigham Young University and her colleagues and scheduled to be published in Psychological Science, reports that moral behavior increases in the presence of pleasant fragrances. In the study, participants in one task were asked to divide $12 between themselves and an absent and anonymous partner and in another task were asked to indicate their interest in donating time or money to Habitat for Humanity. In both tasks, participants who made their decisions while sitting in a room recently spritzed with citrus-scented window cleaner shared more money or indicated much greater interest in volunteering or donating to charity than did participants sitting in a clean but unscented room. Follow-up conversations with participants revealed that they did not notice the scent of the room and that they were in similar moods regardless of room scent.

 

One of the researchers says, "Basically, our study shows that morality and cleanliness can go hand-in-hand."

 

The bottom-line for us parents might be to banish those closed-in, dusty winter odors with a little window cleaner and see if the kiddos aren't more cooperative and pleasant with their siblings. It couldn't hurt!

Source: Brigham Young University (2009, October 26). Clean Smells Promote Moral Behavior, Study Suggests. ScienceDaily. 

 

A Conversation About Autism on

Parenting: A Field Guide LIVE!

 

This week's guest on Parenting: A Field Guide LIVE! is Dr. Annette Estes, autism researcher at University of Washington. She'll share the facts about autism and the latest research in early detection and intervention.

  

Tune in at 9 am (Pacific Time) on Monday November 2nd to Alternative Talk 1150 AM KKNW in the Puget Sound area and streaming live everywhere else on www.1150kknw.com.

 

Also... the radio program and the I'm Thankful Network, of which it is a part, are now part of the CBS Radio Network. Listen live in Detroit (WYCD), Boston (WBMX), another Seattle station (KJAQ) and on AOL, Yahoo! and NewSky internet radion networks. Adjust the time for your time zone (noon to 1 pm Eastern, for example).

 

As always, the radio podcast will be available for download and listening at your leisure (or sharing with a friend) at www.parentingafieldguidelive.com by Monday night. You can also subscribe to the podcast there or at iTunes. 

 

Spontaneous Reading Seminar Scheduled

 

If you're intrigued by Spontaneous Reading and want to know more about how to help your child learn to read easily and naturally (and without those nasty flashcards!), then join me in a 2 1/2 hour seminar planned for Saturday, November 14th in Seattle. Parents of infants, preschoolers and even kindergarteners are invited to attend.

 

Find out more at www.SpontaneousReading.com.  

 

Affordable Coaching for Parents 

Get the help you need, when you need it!

 

When child-rearing issues come up - things that are not important enough or medical enough to ask your pediatrician but too sensitive to ask your own mother - I'm as close as your telephone or computer. And a "visit" to me is a lot less expensive than a visit to your child's doctor!

 

I offer year-long coaching subscriptions and these subscriptions can be shared with one friend or as many as five friends. Coaching makes a great baby shower gift and it's a great way to stay connected with people in your PEPS or MOPS group.

 

To find out more, email Patricia@PatriciaNanAnderson.com and put Coaching in the subject line.

 

 

Is There A Children's Book In You? 

A workshop for authors and illustrators

 

 

Find out how to get started creating a picture book, non-fiction book, easy reader, or chapter book for children or young adults. Learn about storyboarding, using public domain material, publishing, finding an author or illustrator, and all the other ins and outs of writing successfully for kids.

 

This workshop is for would-be writers and artists. This two-and-a-half hour seminar is planned for Sunday, November 15th starting at 1:30 pm. Cost is just $49.

 

For details and to pre-register, click here.

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Where To Find More Information 

 

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Parenting: A Field Guide LIVE! upcoming programs listing

 

Parenting: A Field Guide LIVE! podcast 

 

Spontaneous Reading website

 

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